I wish one day I could tell you all of these words. By making a message for you, even tough you're not coming yet, makes my heart blows in happiness. That I do still have a chance to have u one day.
Hey kiddo, there's something I need to talk to you.
I know it's too early, but when you're here, and I'm sure one day you will, please respect us, your parents.
You have no idea how much efforts and tears we shed for having you. You don't wanna know the nights I spent crying alone in my bed, while holding my negative test packs. You'll be sad knowing that I almost giving up to have you. I blamed your future dad, even I blamed God for making me suffer like this.
No, don't get me wrong kiddo, I do love your future dad so much. I won't giving up our marriage. You know what, either you believe it or not, we, I mean me and your future dad, we've talked about this, about what if we can't have kids, what if in the end there will be only two of us, looong ago before I said "I do" to him. But can't believe it, we're facing it now. Really can't believe it.
By the time I wrote this letter to you, I'm still struggling to make peace with myself. I'm calming my self down. I have to change. I can't be like a soda water, easily to explode. Maybe you're asking why. Because I have to reject all the negativity from my mind. Even if I don't have power to decide whether I'll have you this month, this day, or even this century, but I do can control my mind. Having faith. Believe in something good. That you'll come here, with us, soon.
No one in this world could guarantee when you come, we'll be happier. Many couples split up because of their children. Many parents cry and die in sadness caused by their kids. And countless kids make their parents in danger and total pain. But, we'll take that risks. We're ready for it. You hear that kiddo, we'll take any risks.
If you're up there, please tell God we're ready here. We're ready to have u, now.